In the realm of mental well-being, ‘positive thinking’ is often heralded as a golden key to happiness. The idea is alluring: flood your mind with optimistic thoughts, and you’ll somehow float above life’s turbulence, unscathed by deeper distresses. But as an existential therapist rooted in the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I’d like to gently unwrap the layers and expose why excessive positive thinking can sometimes be more of a toxin than a tonic.
Understanding the Limitations
Life, in its most organic form, is a tapestry woven with threads of joy, sorrow, love, loss, discovery, and disappointment. When we over-indulge in the practice of positive thinking, we risk obscuring the darker, but profoundly meaningful threads that contribute to the richness of this tapestry.
The Pressure Cooker Effect
Imposing a constant stream of positivity on our minds creates a paradoxical pressure. It fosters an environment where negative thoughts and emotions are unwelcome intruders that need to be battled. This struggle can breed internal turmoil, suppressing genuine emotions and hindering authentic human experiences.
The ACT Perspective
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy encourages a more balanced and accepting approach to our internal experiences. Instead of striving to be relentless crusaders of positivity, it invites us to openly embrace our thoughts and feelings, be they joyful or sorrowful. ACT tells us it’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions. It’s about accepting our thoughts and feelings, and letting them be a part of our life without always trying to change them. Accepting our feelings means letting them be a part of our experience without always trying to fight them off. It helps us react to life’s challenges in a more balanced way.
The Wisdom of Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or defeat. It’s about making peace with our thoughts and feelings, allowing them room to breathe, to be, and eventually, to pass. In accepting, we free ourselves from the exhausting battle against negativity, enabling a more genuine, adaptable response to life’s unfolding scenarios.
Commitment to Values
ACT emphasizes the significance of living a life aligned with our values, even when confronted with discomfort or pain. Rather than being ensnared in the webs of toxic positivity, the focus shifts towards committed action that resonates with our deeper values and aspirations.
The Journey of Growth
In the garden of existence, growth often blossoms in the most unexpected soils. Sometimes, it is the acknowledgement of pain, the vulnerability in sorrow, and the wisdom in despair that fertilize our paths with profound insights and resilience.
Basic Exercises To Accept All Feelings
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
Let yourself feel whatever you are feeling without judgment. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Spend time focusing on the present moment. Try mindful breathing or simply pay close attention to your surroundings and your body.
3. Clarify Your Values
Think about what is truly important to you, and let those values guide your actions, even when times are tough.
4. Reach Out
Talk to friends or family members about your true feelings. Sharing and listening can make a big difference.
Trying to be positive all the time can make us feel trapped. Instead, letting ourselves feel a range of emotions, and doing things that are meaningful to us, can make our lives feel richer and more truthful. Using these simple exercises, we can deal with life’s ups and downs in a healthier way.
